Why do you hate me?
Because I blame you for this mess you’re making
Separate yourself from loved ones – are you crazy?
It’s the only way I can maybe live a life not worth erasing
Do you miss being a baby?
No, but I miss when simple things were amazing
You mean before life was ruined with a plague?
YEAH, before mistakes and marriage blew up in my face
Well - it was bound to happen sooner or later
hey, do me a favor and study human behavior
^ we’ve been this way since before we were teenagers
either settle down or take it up with your creator, I know you remember
that was when you first discovered me!
Yeah and how you live under my skin but around me you’re always hovering
I’m the realest part of you that no one sees and no one believes
I know the storm is near when I can hear it thundering
I would say you’re feeling sorry for yourself because of me
I know what I bring to the table in terms of uninvited company
Oh, you don’t say, you’re why I’m an addict for life
Why I can’t treat people right and often why I’m mad I’m alive
Your phone? Throw it in the trash if you like
I’m trying to LEAVE any behavior that’s erratic aside
You love it when I become you, while its happening
wishing that I could snap this pen take half of it and stab you in the abdomen
But you can’t because I’m you don’t have the strength
One of these days it’s possible I grab my head and “accidentally” bash it in
^ Am I real? There is no evidence that is forensic
Plus, you won’t ever just straight up tell them that you’re schizophrenic
I’m trying to be functioning when you and I are separated
and you know I’m too paranoid to take any medication
this is how we are physiologically
I don’t know why you keep getting so bent out of shape about our biology
It’s less about being under a sexual spell
It’s about my wellbeing and how you’ve affected my mental health
Don’t forget since you were twelve, try to fix it yourself
It’s like you’re blindfolded in the mirror and wishing him well
I have too much pride to open up to a professional
Trust me, no one cares about me less than you
Or I should say you less than me, promise the feeling’s mutual
This is what happens when you turn your marriage to a funeral
You want to bitch about how her new life is not including you?
You can't be trusted, it’s not a trick question or a Rubik’s cube
Look I know I have issues, I’m not denying it
But with sexual struggles it’s like different rules apply to it
Why don’t you tell them what you really want to say, you’re holding back – stop it
Tell them if they don’t like how you’re feeling then they could just
Stop reading, move on and keep walking
They don’t have to comment on your thoughts just cause the world is in their pocket
Tell them you remember when they were alive
And actual people, not just a pile of skin trapped inside a device
So connected there’s no connection, show me a full life
filter, post, scroll, like, scroll, like
tell them HOW pissed off you are for where your life is
tell them that FRUSTRATION is not the fucking same as becoming violent
ask them how come they cannot understand your excitement
dealing with depression, affecting a child, fighting with a dying wish
and it’s all your fault, cause you can’t blame me
I mean, it’s my fault, but I’m the version of you that is not changing
I’m you when your hormones attack you cause of the ladies
I’m not someone you can put on trial just cause you’re angry
And I ain’t leaving without maturity or suicide
And you hate me cause most of the time I’m helping you decide
Between what is right and a ruined life
I best you every time, and they wonder why you’re always looking for a noose to tie
You got married like it was so urgent
You should have waited ‘til you could be perfect
You bury your low view of yourself, and I unearth it
I went away when YOU first got married but you know that I’m so resurgent
Why don’t you say any of this, they haven’t heard it?
I know what you’re thinking and dealing with, and you haven’t scratched the surface
You want to be left alone, why don’t you show and tell
Because I’d rather keep it all to myself.