When I don’t write, I don’t feel right, inside
I just can’t function, when I don’t flesh out my insight
My flesh cries out for mercy, hoping so badly the sin dies
When I hold this pen, I feel close to God and that is all that I desire
You can stay assuming, this is sacred to me
I pen my episodes and you tune into your pay-per-viewing
You can critique, but a response is not what the rate’s including
I find all your feelings really fascinating so you can feel free to say them to me
Please share, I have kind words that I have prepared
You need a shoulder to cry on just give me your house address, and I will be there
But be aware, if you’re having a dream and you see your spirit sitting there
Your BEST shot at being assassinated will happen when you’re on the king’s chair
^ It’s not a throne, I believe every human is God’s own
Why do I talk about dying so often cause while I’m alive I am not home
Why do I discuss and dissect understanding and context cause it’s a locked door
Do you wonder why I said I’m not trustworthy or should I have said it a lot more

For better or worse, you said it with words
You either never meant what you said or, your intentions were reversed
Vows when you wed should never be interpreted as promises to be perfect
Depression hurts, but demented perception is worse
There are no medics to cure so it won’t benefit you to get to a nurse
Or a doctor instead of regretting the turns that your life has taken my own medicine burns
Yeah the medicine burns, ha, I bet you will learn eventually
You will get what you deserve, for better or worse

If you’re playing for keeps, I pray that when you awaken from dreams
You realize your potential, walk out of that mental prison on the day you’re released
I, am scared, to death, to be on my own, because of the way that i think
I, can’t stand, the thought, of hurting my family I’d rather stay on a leash
I should be chained to a sink, basically all seven says on the week
I mean it, you should be taking more serious all of the things that I say when I speak
Therapy? In 3 minutes I’d be psycho-analytically raping the shrink
Tongue-tied? No, he’d be hung, tied to an iron lung and begging to breathe
Either lay on the ground, pray to the clouds, or stay on your knees
I’m trying to sing my swan song gracefully while changing the key
What in the hell would I be, if your labels are strangling me
^ I’m doc, umenting my life for when I’m deceased, aka, taking a leave
It’s not exactly what you think about, it’s the way that you think
Can’t figure out if you’re critically thinking or just making believe
“Silence” by Jarren Benton, in the back of my mind, plays on repeat
I cannot hurt you anymore if I, pass away in my sleep

For better or worse, you said it with words
You either never meant what you said or your intentions were reversed
Vows when you wed should never be interpreted as promises to be perfect
Depression hurts, but demented perception is worse
There are no medics to cure so it won’t benefit you to get to a nurse
Or a doctor instead of regretting the turns that your life has taken my own medicine burns
Yeah the medicine burns, ha, I bet you will learn eventually
You will get what you deserve, for better or worse

Marital vows spoken as promises of perfection
Might as well be inadvertently said
To function imperfectly is to be human
Begs the question
Is inadvertently hurting your spouse worthy or deserving of death?
I never imagined leaving her I just couldn’t keep my flirting in check
Nothing malicious but I assume responsibility for the downfall of our union and an early exit
Worried, I kept my mouth shut and for years was nervously present
Far from where earning respect is
I wasn’t purposely working in temptation
Sounds twisted
But for my family I was earning a check
Cause of my weakness it turned it into a burden instead
Silver lining – fake friends turning their heads
Nose in the air, cold shoulder
Not returning my texts
Cause as a person I couldn’t get my mind on anything without returning to sex
Just to come and u-turn to distress
Is it genetic, a curse, or hex?
But years later, my family’s at our personal best
And as for Carley and me
It’s an encouraging trend
For better or worse we are friends