It's Personal (Single)

by john wesley



The first single from the upcoming album "Heroin Cloud"


You keep saying the same thing, never changing
When I’m dying, my mind’s eye and what my brain sees
Has nothing in common with anything I imagined
Entering afterlife and witnessing my mind’s eye collapsing
I’m constantly stalked by the shadow of death
So I don’t have to be walking through a valley to battle my stress
These anti-depressants had no effect
Until I took the whole bottle and while dying, I say so depressed
When the grip on the bottle is irreversible
You will hear voices and this here is personal
Every single one of those fans must’ve misheard you
The devil writes, wish I’d have never looked in his journal
It’s just a bunch of plagiarism; they say that it’s different
But it’s the exact same recycled behavior mimic
You can’t just burn hell to the ground and run away
Misery will invite company and everyone will stay

Stalked by the shadow of death
Battle my stress, had no effect
Sat so depressed, it’s irreversible
My personal hell

Not trying to get off Scott-free
Can’t even make the claim that my behavior is not me
Don’t know how hard I must beg and plead for them to leave
These feelings are overwhelming and I cannot breathe
It seems like the only way that I could even possibly
End this would be for God to come down himself and stop me
In my heart I don’t want this burden and so it haunts me
When you’re not on the same page and your actions do all the talking
At this point, while I’m writing I don’t know what the penalty is
When your heart’s in a different place and your morals have been deleted
Something you would never do happens once and is then repeated
I don’t know how much of this humanly body you leave with
I guarantee you disagree with me as a Christian
I’m just begging almighty God for my consciousness to kick in
It’s like he wants me to hate him purposely give no assistance
We never measure our worth by what it is, just what it isn’t
God, just either bring me to you or send me to hell
Why the hell does this situation keep presenting itself?
You’re omnipresent; I don’t understand how you can’t be nearest
Why would I battle rappers when I have to battle lyrics?
It seems to me this issue keeps getting uglier
My problem says, “I’m not leaving unless you fuck me first
I know I’m your energy as soon as you are low
I’ll return, so in other words, I’ll see you tomorrow”

Stalked by the shadow of death
Battle my stress, had no effect
Sat so depressed, it’s irreversible
This here is personal

So what am I supposed to do, don’t you tell me to grow up
Cause that tells me, what I’m going through is not something you know of
I’m hanging around people, strength I am trying to soak up
Paranoia from there being no understanding and no love
I really hope those close to me can love me through this
If not, I don’t feel it necessary to be included
That could modify into a shortened life
If all is passing away, can any words truly be immortalized?
You won’t provide me with an opinion that isn’t bias
No one has a concept of privacy, you should try it
Asking personal questions, you must have been excited
Promise you I will either stay quiet, lie, or deny it
I don’t know what your level of treatment is
But if you get offended, give a fuck if you agree with it
Not searching for a feminist, I’m looking for a stick to beat her with
Feminism can eat a dick
Have sensitivity? Then you should be deleting it
Before you put in my cd, thinking that it would be legit
I didn’t call you a faggot cause you’re gay, it isn’t a secret
You can be who you are, you don’t have to be discreet with it
I assume at my funeral, or with my will, reading it
They won’t be surprised to find I have nothing to leave em with
My death day is coming, when it is time to sign off
If I spent time accumulating possessions, then I lost

Stalked by the shadow of death
Battle my stress, had no effect
Sat so depressed, it’s irreversible
This here is personal


released March 2, 2017



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john wesley Moline, Illinois

Est. 2004

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