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lyrics

I keep a notebook open with two vacant sets of sixteen
And a pen with memories of Cydney Blankenship and Tristi
Thirty-two opportunities to talk, make some enemies
And put to better use the very blessing that I get to breathe
Yeah, I know that I’m often angry but I’m promising
That all the speech I offer is positive, but is [arguably
Hateful], life is full of questions, and we’re concluding them
And we’re comfortable with life instead of constantly improving it
I get so bent out of shape at the thought of an American
Complaining about a rainy day and talking in arrogance
Dissatisfied, upset, because we ain’t get what we want or something
Thankful for nothing, saying we’re starving and clutching our stomach
And all I see is a little girl sitting on the floor
Holding her dying mother who’s trying to hold on for a moment more
Daddy died of aids, no support, and all alone
At four years old, three younger siblings, 2 dead parents, and no hope

I can’t hear a single word you’re saying if you’re complaining
And I want to give that expression on your face an abrasion
Little miss sunshine – disturbing reality
Every person is battling a plastic personality
I’m not vulgar, I’m through with using euphemisms
Converting to Sufism, and shooting up [with] the music business
Through this pen I realized I could take my newest vision;
and make you believe make-believe so I made it and I threw you in it
A few decisions separate my future children
From a normal life and a father out to prove his innocence
I Thought I was good, but I know I’m lying, fake, and dishonest
That’s why I stay away from words like hate, obnoxious
Never, always, perfect, guarantee, great, and flawless
Love, good, best, worst, insane, and promise
I don’t trust me, I don’t love me, I don’t want me hurting you
Sit me down next to my doubts, they’re becoming merciful

I have nothing to say, I’m out of ideas
A mouth full of quiet and eyes that don’t know how to cry tears
You’ve tried crying out, now, stay ‘bout silence
For noise violations you’ll be found face-down, dying
I don’t ask that you kill yourself – know that
But why we’re found strangled to death with your own hands?
A glass of wine and a slow dance
When I have a fit I need a mic and an audience to throw at
Living and breathing ain’t being alive
It’s living for everyone else [BUT WE CAN KEEP THAT BETWEEN YOU AND I]
Speaking your mind is easy, what isn’t is leading the blind
So do you listen to your heart or believe in your mind?
[MY WIFE] has half my time [DEPRESSION] takes the rest of me
[“WHAT’D YOU SAY?”] Nothing, I love it when you nag at me incessantly
America, I have a complaint, baby, you ain’t able
To know what pain is or even sustain a sprained ankle
I dare you to complain again, I’ll make your day painful
I’ll take your hate and make everything that you say hate you
Christianity ain’t providing, it’s making fables
That a relationship with God is only hoping faith will save you
We all have faith in this recession of disaster
And wonder if Obama is the question or the answer
Children die invisible; you’re concerned for a will reading
You’re still breathing, baby; you ain’t felt a real beating

Rain, rain go away come again another day
God, why do you hate me; why must you rain on my parade?

credits

from Brace Yourself (2012), released May 15, 2012

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john wesley St. Louis, Missouri

Est. 2004

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